Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

The day finally arrives that Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He
walks up to the Pearly Gates and is met by St. Peter himself.

The good saint says:  "Well, Forrest, we're glad to see you. We
certainly have heard a lot about you.  I must let you know,  however,
that the place is filling up fast, so we have been giving an entrance 
examination to everyone. The test is short but you have to pass
before you can get into Heaven. You need to answer these three
questions:

1. What days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- that's an easy one. There are two
of them - Today and Tomorrow."

The saint's eyes open wide in surprise: "Forrest, that's not what I was
thinking, but, well... I'll give you credit for that answer.  "How about the 
second question?"

"Now, that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I'll guess the answer to
be  twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? TWELVE? Forrest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve," Forrest answers, "January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd, and so on."

"Hold it" interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, but
I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on to the final 
question, which is:  "Can you tell me God's first name?"

"Sure, that's easy!  " Forrest replies, "It's Andy."

" Andy?" exclaims the exasperated and frustrated saint. "OK, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, 
but just how in the world did you come up with the name of 'Andy' as the 
first name of God?"

"Shucks," Forrest replies, "that was the easiest one of all":

ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opens the Pearly Gates and says, quietly, "Run, Forrest, run!"